Identity is the Remedy
Related Event
Identity ignored = Isolating more
Loss leads to love realized in the maddening goodbye
It was held against me
They called it “hysteria” back the day, still some things haven’t changed
But this isn’t The Yellow Wallpaper
More grief like losing Old Yeller
But relief to lose the one who yells
Part heaven; part hell
Who am I now?
The wiseman asks
Just as he bites a delicious strawberry snack
While between two tigers, so the story goes
His potential loss of self leads to letting go
Struggling artists can self-actualize
Maslow insisted if an area of life is low or empty
Don’t show up; Go home and rebuild the identity
I’d like to see him train for life on the streets, knowing the value of decency
Wholeness requires inwardness
Not a constant rumination of how their character may slant
Lost in their rants
You become the aberrant
Change your thoughts
And add a pause
The therapists say a lot
Or taste toxic positivity as a shock
To suffering - because to lose emotion or authenticity is the cost
My identity was us
“Name it to tame it”
Can’t I just be angry no wait cross, indignant
Trying not to call your digits
On the phone just because nobody’s home
I want to name you as mine
Truth or Dare?
Truth - I don’t know who I am without you always starts with who was I before you? We get lost at the hell of hello not knowing we’d be like jello
Dare - Can you just be here? Forget it all. I will too. Let’s start over like we used to do.
Self-respect means changing the lock
Not trying to turn back the clock
We cannot interview for the success of a potential goodbye
“Would you run from love? Do you leave without saying so? Do you pack your stuff when I’m not home? Closure or ghost ‘em? A temper or self-control? Turn me into your mold? Tell me what will take its toll on my heart so I do not start.”
I’ll never again be swept off my feet
Only to fall forward because I didn’t meet my own needs
You took my breath away
In a sucker punch (figuratively)
You stole my heart like a thief on the run
Which isn’t love
It’s manipulation
A part of me is missing and misses you
But really I miss the years I misused
You’re not the puzzle piece to complete me
I am who I choose to be
Because I can look in the mirror and live with myself
The greatest find is that is all you need
I’m not you
And I’m not just a victim either
I’m someone who paints a picture for others to see
When all of me is screaming
So I tear it down
The artist who self-actualizes still falls into a spell
Of art that shares how they really feel
The muse is in their email
Subject: Dear Lover/Friend/Loss: I am not who you thought I was
No shit!
Just take that and laugh
Rather than look at life as always a stab in the back
You’ll get your impact
When you let it hit you one day
You could still be in their game
Get wrapped up in the meaning you make
Give to something greater than yourself
Tell one person how to help their self
Create one great piece of art and then burn out for life
Whatever you have to do
You’ll be surprised
That you can
Still Feel
That’s enough to still be human
If you feel the need to give up, don’t do it
There, right there. Did you feel it?
That moment you actually loved yourself
You considered it all; Now you stall
You have your reason after all.
About
Sarah Jeanne Browne is a wisdom collector who assisted Tiny Buddha with such projects and then formed her own philosophy; writer for Forbes and other popular self-help sites (and now deconstructs self-help as the industry can be misleading); speaker for organizations such as The Peal Center, Pennsylvania Youth Leadership Network, The Woodlands Foundation, Reimagine, various podcasts and more; activist for human and animal rights; innovator and problem solver such as creating a way to connect with kids for EndCAN - LOVES: Listen, Open Up, Validate, Explain, and Solve Together; brand and social media consultant; and lived experience speaker and writer with bipolar, dyscalculia, and AuDHD.