Let’s Learn: Senses of Self Lost and Gained
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Loss is loss, whether we experience it after a person dies or if an identity or belief system dies inside of us. In this panel discussion, we’ll hear diverse stories of change in selfhood: a marriage that ended, the experience of infertility, the responsibilities of family caregiving, and transitioning to a new profession. What aspects of ambiguous grief apply to all of these identity-related losses?
In the chat and during Q&A, you will have an opportunity to ask questions about your identity loss in a supportive environment of peers. Guests include “shadowloss” expert Cole Imperi, caregiving advocate Jessica C. Guthrie, and former pastor Rich Pérez. Author and grief educator Stephanie Sarazin moderates the conversation.
As we launch this series on a sacred day of remembering, we acknowledge our shared grief as well as the individual losses of identity resulting from 9/11. We honor survivors who are no longer parents, children, spouses, or friends of those physically among us. We hold space for those who lost their sense of safety and wellbeing, and those who suffer from chronic illness as a result of the attack.
Speakers
Cole Imperi is a thanatologist, author, and researcher whose work focuses on the use of non-clinical tools in support of those experiencing loss and grief. Cole is the Founder of the School of American Thanatology, which has students in more than 30 countries, where she both teaches and conducts research under the school’s ThanaLab. Through her development of Shadowloss Theory and her pioneering work with the field of Thanabotany, Cole’s work seeks to bridge the gaps left by the decline in non-clinical, community-led bereavement support. As a leading expert in the field of thanatology, Cole has given multiple TEDx Talks on Shadowloss and resiliency, appeared on the Netflix series The Future of…, and served as an expert for WNYC’s Radiolab, The Atlantic, The New York Times, Ologies, MoMA, and more. Cole is the author of A Guide to Grief, for teens and tweens, (October 1, 2024) and a book about grief for adults being published by Penguin in 2025. Cole has diverse experience from working in and around loss and grief since 2008 where she worked as a chaplain-thanatologist in one of America’s 25 largest jails, mortuary college professor, crematory operator, hospice volunteer, grief support group leader for children as young as 3 to adults, death companion, served on the board of a green burial startup, and as Board President of a historic cemetery and arboretum. She traveled the US and Canada for 5 years training funeral directors and embalmers, and co-founded a deathcare startup. She currently consults on bereavement programming for organizations, and publishes the popular column Grief or Madness. Cole was the recipient of the Curtis Gates Lloyd Fellowship through the Lloyd Library and Museum and is a California Master Gardener. She is based in Los Angeles.
Jessica C. Guthrie is a visionary leader dedicated to reshaping the landscape of caregiving. She champions the cause of providing dignified, respectful, and compassionate care for loved ones. She believes in the power of deep empathy, patience, and unwavering curiosity, even in the face of adversity.
As a caregiver of her mother living with Alzheimer’s Disease, Jessica has observed the challenges faced by families, particularly those caring for individuals with dementia. She emphasizes the need for a fundamental shift in the way caregiving is approached, involving individuals, families, and healthcare professionals working in synergy. Through her platform "Career & Caregiving Collide™," Jessica shares her insights and pioneering ideas, guiding others in navigating the intersection of their professional careers and caregiving responsibilities. Her mission is to amplify diverse caregiving narratives and ensure caregivers feel fully supported.
Jessica brings over 13 years of experience in the education and non-profit management & leadership fields. She is now using her experiences to drive her own entrepreneurial efforts to create a better, more equipped world for caregivers and their loved ones. She received her degree in Sociology & Education Policy at Dartmouth College and Master’s degree in Educational Leadership & Policy from Southern Methodist University in Dallas, TX.
For nearly twenty years, Rich Pérez served as a pastor and community leader, fostering spiritual growth and promoting community development. His 2017 memoir, Mi Casa Uptown, explores the intersection of faith, ethnicity, and placemaking. Today, Rich uses those experiences to tell stories as a filmmaker; working with brands and organizations using both documentary and narrative styles of storytelling. Currently, Rich is a producer with CT Media. Faith and family are a cornerstone in his life, reflecting his belief that the decisions we make throughout the course of our lives are telling a story.
Stephanie Sarazin is a writer, researcher, grief educator, and experiential expert in ambiguous grief. Her work began with her own experience of traumatic nondeath loss, which sparked an ambitious journey – spiritually and around the world – to understand, name, and heal the grief she found within. Her work revealed a first-of-its-kind definition for ambiguous grief whereby grief is onset by the loss of a loved one who is still living, and wherein hope presents as a defining component of the grieving process. Her book, Soulbroken: A Guide for Your Journey Through Ambiguous Grief (Balance, 2022) was named the Gold Winner by the 2023 Nautilus Books Awards and has received praise from leading voices including Adam Grant, Elizabeth Lesser, and Maria Shriver. A Psychology Today monthly contributor, her articles on grief and loss have also been published by several notable outlets including Newsweek, HuffPost, Spirituality & Health Magazine and The Sunday Paper. Stephanie is a graduate of Michigan State University and earned a Master of Public Policy from The University of Chicago. She is an avid reader, recreational runner, aspiring camper, and lives in North Carolina, where she is training to trek to Mt. Everest’s Base Camp in October 2024.
About the Series
Pieces of Me: Identity Loss and Ambiguous Grief
Our identities are not fixed. They evolve and dissolve over time, and often, friends and family, and society ignore or dismiss the sorrow associated with transitions of selfhood. These losses can occur across the arc of our lives: leaving home, breakups, estrangement, job termination, infertility, menopause, retirement, disability, and illness. This three-part series – along with additional events hosted by Reimagine’s community of collaborators – illuminates the grief experienced when our sense of self or belief system shifts or shatters.
We’ll also learn about ambiguous grief – the profound experiences of sorrow, anger, anxiety, numbness, hope, and other emotions associated with identity loss and other non-death related losses. A number of questions emerge:
- How does the end of a relationship or marriage affect your identity among family, friends, and communities?
- Whether impacted by a devastating diagnosis, struggling with infertility, or a chronic illness, how do we grieve the loss of a dream?
- If you are a caregiver to a parent, how do you manage letting go of your role as the child and becoming the adult responsible for your person’s care?
- As a parent, how do you process the wide range of feelings associated with empty nesting?
- How do you experience loss when your spiritual or religious community evolves? And if you leave a faith, do you yearn for certain rituals and fellowship associated with your spiritual past?
- As someone entering mid-life or elderhood, what are you grieving?
Register now to explore these topics and others related to the challenges of being in flux, the pain of letting go, and transforming the core elements of who we are.
About Reimagine
Reimagine is a nonprofit organization catalyzing a uniquely powerful community–people of different backgrounds, ages, races, and faiths (and no faith) coming together in the hopes of healing ourselves and the world. We specifically support each other in facing adversity, loss, and mortality and–at our own pace– actively channeling life's biggest challenges into meaningful action and growth.
