Room for Grief

Every third Thursday of the month, the Reimagine community holds space for those mourning loss. Volunteers facilitate these peer-led gatherings using art and prompts to spark conversation and reflection. Room for Grief gatherings are intended for adults across generations.

Host/Facilitator

Michelle Wilder-Thornhill

Life is filled with transitions, and I consider it an honor to help people through them. I have over 20 years of experience in bereavement-care, and a desire to share proven coping strategies and an evidenced-based action program to help individuals move beyond the pain that comes with grief and loss. I am an Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, a Certified Trauma Healing Facilitator and an End of Life Doula specializing in Medical Aid in Dying (MAID- NJ) and Voluntary Stop Eating and Drinking (VSED.) I am a sought-after speaker and consultant, who makes discussing important topics manageable. I use systems-based approaches and action programs to lead retreats, seminars; workshops; support groups, and private one-on-one sessions for individuals, organizations and companies. I also instruct an educational program for adults: Helping Children Deal with Loss. I am trained to assist adults, teens and children; and I am a trusted professional called on to assist communities in crisis; a Vitas Hospice Volunteer, a member of The Hospice Foundation of America, The National Home Funeral Alliance, and the National End of Doula Alliance, where I am a member of the Executive Board of Directors, Co-chairing the Justice, Equity, Diversity and Inclusion Committee; as well as a member of the Advisory Board for Girls Leading Africa and Philadelphia Chapter President of International Association of Women. By establishing Legacy & Hope, LLC, I have pulled on my vast industry experience, education and training to enhance the overall quality of service and care that I provide my clientele. https://legacyandhope.com/

Community Touchstones

Confidentiality

What’s said here stays here, what’s learned here leaves here.

Everything invitational

See these questions (and this whole experience) as an invitation, not a demand. If you are moved to answer a different question than one we have listed, go for it. If you’re moved to sit and listen, that’s ok too - just being here is participating.

Speak from the heart

We’re used to speaking what we think we should, what we think others want to hear, or from ideas or stories we’ve told ourselves over and over. See if you can take risks to root into what is true and to share from that vulnerable place.

Listen from the heart

See if you can be fully present to what’s here, listening with compassion to whoever is speaking. Try on turning any judgement that arises (including judgment of yourself!) into wonder. “I wonder what brought her to this belief?” “I wonder what I don’t get?” “I wonder what my reaction teaches me about myself?” See if it’s possible to set aside judgment to listen to others—and to yourself—more deeply.

No one right way

There’s no one right way to grieve, to do this retreat, or to express yourself (for example: totally ok to cry, and totally ok not to cry). Try to reserve judgment, of others and of yourself.

Trust the silence

Take a few breaths before even thinking of responding or offering your own words. Learn to trust the silence, and to notice what arises in it. Take your time.

Cool is the enemy

Try on the idea that you (and everyone else here) totally belong. Let’s try to be an easy crowd for each other. That means presuming welcome, and extending welcome. What if we all let go of “cool”? Cool is the enemy. ;)

Share air time

Take space & make space. Groups work best when everyone has their eye on this.

Self-focus

Speak your truth in ways that respect other people’s truths. Consider using “I” statements so that you can speak from your center, instead of generalizing or making assumptions about everyone else.

No fixing, saving, advising, correcting

No need to jump in to fix anything, save anyone, or offer unsolicited advice. Trust folks’ own processes.

Focus on stories about loved ones

This is a space in which we center stories and support. If you are here to challenge or argue the safety practices of others (e.g., masking in public, vaccinations), this is not a space for you.