When my mother died, it fell to me to conclude her affairs. She had wills and pre-paid cremation, but no plans for her memorial, and neither did we. Four years later, when my husband fell ill, I was better prepared. At first, he objected to a ceremony. "It was not for him, I told him, It was for us." We and all those who knew him, needed to be together to console, acknowledge, grieve, celebrate his life and death just like cultures since the beginning of time have marked this event. Once again, one of the most significant milestones in life, the death of a loved one, was relegated to an afterthought, to be decided when we are at our most vulnerable. I found this time and time again to be true when I was called upon to lead a life tribute ceremony. I see my role as a Humanist Celebrant to reimagine this day and to be certain to plan and mark it with love