A Jewish Guide for The Comforter: Nihum Aveilim

A friend, a colleague, a relative has died. Or a friend, colleague, or relative of someone close to you has died. You have decided to attend the funeral-a funeral you know will include Jewish traditions and rituals-to honor the deceased and to offer support and comfort to family and close friends. You may also want to provide support and comfort in the days, weeks, and months to come. What do you do? What should you expect? What do you say? How do you behave in a way that is appropriate and loving, while honoring and respecting Jewish tradition? This booklet is intended to provide guidance and insight for you around these issues, whether you are Jewish or not. It acknowledges the variety of practices that may occur within Jewish tradition and the spirit that underlies all of those practices. This spirit can be summed in two fundamental principles that underlie every aspect of how someone who has died is honored and how we as survivors can comfort the mourners. The Hebrew terms for these principles are: Kavod HaMeit: Honoring the deceased Nihum Aveilim: Comforting the mournings This same spirit is expressed in the Hebrew word for funeral-levayah-which means to accompany. We are here to accompany the deceased to their place of rest and to accompany the mourners through their grief.