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Beyond "Sorry...": A Guide to Supporting Grievers

If someone you care about has shared with you that someone significant has died, this guide is to help you give them real support by being a grief ally.

A resource by Melanie Wilson

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Your friend, family member, colleague, community member, dog sitter, etc. (who I'll refer to as "your griever") has shared with you that someone significant in their life (who I'll refer to as "their person") has died...

Now what do you do?

You could say "I'm so sorry for your loss, please let me know if there's anything you need…"—and perhaps you already have.

That's okay, and also, we believe (as you do because you’re reading this) that you can offer more. This could be because:

  • Your griever likely does not know what they need from you;
  • The last time you offered this to someone in sincerity, they never reached out;
  • You want to offer something genuine and meaningful; or
  • You now know about my business, Life and Soul, which was created to be the antidote to this specific phrase.

You've got this, Grief Ally. We're here to help you create the space and take actions for your griever who is navigating this grief journey. Use our resources here: https://thelifeandsoul.co/grief-ally

My Inspiration

Two weeks after my dad died, a fellow griever told me that the biggest surprise that they had experienced after the death of their parent was how quickly people forgot and stopped showing up. This is the thing: there are the folks who bring food in the first week then disappear, and there are the rare gems who text years later saying "Your dad would've had the BEST take on this political scandal." Those people—the ones who aren't afraid to keep my dad alive in conversation—have been crucial to my grief journey. They understand fundamentally that grief isn't something you "get over." Instead, it becomes part of who you are, evolving over time but never disappearing. That's why I founded Life and Soul—because I believe we all deserve that kind of sustained, authentic support through life's hardest transitions. And because I know firsthand how isolating it can feel when the world expects you to "move on" while you're still figuring out how to carry your grief.
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